Desperation is finally here. I Guess I should start at the beginning. Summer of 2010, a good Friend introduces me to his sister in law, and was going to be staying with him and his wife for a while. She had left her husband a few months prior. She had three children from this marriage and they were married for eight years I believe. Six months go by, and the divorce had moved NOWHERE. Her Ex had moved on and had another women living with him. Green light, we began our relationship. To make a very long story a “little” shorter, it was very bitter. The children where fought over constantly, a normal conversation could not be had at any time. IT WAS BAD. VERY BAD. My name was drug through the mud and then ran over with a Mack truck. 8 Months into the relationship She needed a place for her and her children. We agreed to live together. Now you have to understand I have two boys that live with their mother, and there is no custody arrangement. We share a happy relationship, The boys stay where ever they want to as long as school isn't in. IT WORKS WELL. It made it possible for me to move her in and have bedrooms for the kids when they stayed with us.
Within a week of us living together things had reached a new level of insanity. Police were involved so much they were sick of hearing our names and her ex's and his mothers. She had to obtain a no contact order from her ex and his mother. It divided her family so badly she still does not talk to her grandparents, her brother in law or her father and sister. I personally had to argue with a deputy for an hour and half, we pressed charges on her ex because he went to where her stuff was stored at her grandmothers and stole many things. We showed the officer the text message where he said he had the stuff yet he would not react. He called him and advised him to return the stuff. I had enough 10 months of this, I pointed out to the officer that if I stole something from Walmart you were not just going to call me and tell me to take it back. I would be in jail. Why is he any different, this was not civil, this was theft. He threw his clipboard across the office and marched out the back door. I heard from another officer’s radio they had picked him up.
Now we are to the grave injustice. I worked nights and she stayed home with the kids. One morning she came into the room, woke me up to say DCFS was at the door. I laughed and said “SO”
We knew he would try something crazy. They explained to us that there had been a report of physical abuse to the oldest boy “in that he was slammed against a wall with such force it broke the drywall and then slammed into a recliner so hard it broke the recliner.” I explained to the woman that yes I do discipline the children their mother had seen fit to put me in that position. However, I do not spank my own boys and would never lay a hand on somebody else’s child no matter what position I was in. I made a joke and told her we just duct tape them to the ceiling fan. Wrong thing to do, she did not find it funny at all. We didn’t even have a ceiling fan. I took them all through the house to show them there was no damage of any kind anywhere to any walls, asked her to sit in the one recliner we had to make sure it wasn't broken and showed her the dining room chairs. To get to the point the only issue she said was that I need to put new batteries in the smoke detector. The whole time I thought it was a big joke I knew we had done nothing wrong and they would see that and acknowledge it. The investigator made a point to say this happens a lot in divorces, which is why we normally don't get involved when a divorce is going on.
We thought we had made the first victory. They took all three children to the DR. and the report said they were happy and healthy and there were no telltale signs of physical or mental abuse. I figured it was over I would receive a letter in the mail in a few weeks saying it was “UNFOUNDED”. Over 10 days later, I was woken up to Danielle Crying hysterically; DCFS had gone to the children’s school and got them. There was to be no contact with me. I told her they can’t do that There has to be a parent or guardian present when DCFS questions minors, come to find out the guardian that was present was her ex. Husbands mother...........I just got named as a child abuser!?!?!??!?
They told us the reason they did that was that the middle child, her little girl said she was scared of me. You have to understand that I am 6'4 and close to 300 lbs. Maybe this is why?
I am forced to move out of the neighborhood. Her and I go to live with my father, didn’t really have a choice at the time. Now Danielle gets to see her kids once a week supervised at this point.
We file an appeal with DCFS. The worker makes Danielle go to parenting classes and anger management. She sets up a plan for me a mental evaluation, parenting classes, and anger management, I refuse I told her I did nothing wrong I am not jumping through hoops for anybody.....
Finally ITS APPEAL day. Now I have to explain when we filed our appeal there was one case number showing that I was allegedly the abuser, and Danielle allegedly allowed it to go on. We filed in the same envelope on the same form so now, at the hearing, there was a law judge, the attorney for DCFS and the investigator. They asked Danielle in first, and came out a little bit later and added me to the group. I can tell how well things were going by the grin on Danielle face. However, the judge begins to explain to me that he cannot hear my appeal the way we filed our appeal is wrong that they were separate cases. I argued with him that the case has one case number with both of our names on it. He agreed but did not change his mind. The DCFS lawyer insured me that it was one in the same not to worry about it. So I did not argue. They asked some questions of me and Danielle and he turned to the investigator and laid into her. I just smiled. Asked her why she removed all three children when the report was about abuse to only child, and another child altogether said she was frightened of me. Asked what evidence she had to support this. She got mouthy and said she had been doing this for 26 years I know when there is a problem. He got loud and reminded her that this was a court there was no room for that here. EVIDENCE EVIDENCE EVIDENCE! In addition, he said he had enough to go on. We all shook hands and it was over.
We were so happy, we were sure this nightmare was finally over. Her divorce is almost finalized things are moving forward. Then I get a letter saying the case was FOUNDED!
At this point, I agreed to go to the mental health evaluation. I was there for two hours and told her my whole story up to that point. When it was all finished, she said well now I have no idea what to do with you. All DCFS had asked for was an evaluation no follow up therapy or anything treatment of any kind, she explained to me that she had a lot of clients thru DCFS and this was not the norm at all. Therefore, with that I was done with that. A week before her last court date for the divorce we received a call from DCFS telling us they were no longer going to handle the case that they were giving it to Lutheran child and family services. I received a call from her and she wanted to set up a plan. I directly told her no and to never call me again. She said hold on why. I asked if she could get the no contact order dropped, she said that was up to the judge not her. I'm smart enough to know what due process is. THIS WAS WRONG!
So now, we have no idea if we are labeled child abusers or not DCFS wouldn't just drop out. I mean I did not understand ANY OF IT. I ALSO WANT TO EXPLAIN that her ex had hired a lawyer. However, we were not able to afford one so Danielle went to land of Lincoln.
This is where I'm going to go through what was ordered in her divorce and give some reason.
I want to explain there are laws against stalking and abuse of domestic partners and they are strict, however it’s not as easy as you think to get restraining/order of protection.
To get an emergency no contact order is simple. However to get the standing order you have to show good cause and there is a time limit for these orders. In addition, the defendant has to be served with papers and appear before a judge. It’s a court order then and if it violated he can be held in contempt of court.
It is in their divorce that I am not to have contact with the children! It’s kind of funny seeing how my name is nowhere on a court order, I have never been served with papers, so it makes me wonder who would get in trouble if I was around the kids. It couldn't be me I guess because the divorce only pertains to those two individuals they would be held in contempt. He kept the residence and she got one of the vehicles in the divorce. It was in the order that the children where not to be in that vehicle until he was provided with proof that the brake system had been professionally repaired. That's kind of odd. Danielle was not working at the time so the child support she would have had to pay got over looked. However it is in the order that she has to make her ex aware of her working within five days of employment and provide him with check stubs and her tax returns. WHAT IS THAT! They are no longer married that is none of his business if there is going to be a child support order then its up to the court not to him.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((I ALMOST FORGOT))))))))))))))))))) her ex's Mother filed a lawsuit against Danielle during the divorce proceedings. She was suing her for a thousand dollars that she said she had borrowed when she still lived with her ex. I of course told her not to worry about it that is civil matters that will be taking care of in the divorce. With a hand written note just showing when money was loaned and paid back she won the lawsuit. The paper didn't even have a signature on it. Even funnier, Danielle was the stay at home mom. Her husband handled all the bills and money, and Danielle’s mom is only a phone call away if it was her asking for money. Don’t you think she would have asked her own mother? Still she won the lawsuit by walking in showing the judge a piece of paper and saying I loaned this girl money, LEGAL BINDING NOTHING! The craziness goes on and on. Back to the divorce, I will post pictures of different parts of the order to show you how crazy this is.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN! Danielle’s lawyer was useless and threw her under the bus at every turn. Her lawyer agreed to whatever her ex wanted. So now, her lawyer is letting this happen somehow the judge, the educated man, that he is supposed to be, how can he let this happen. The main concern is the no contact order. In addition, it’s just wrong. We cannot afford a lawyer. We just want our names cleared. We have been scratching and saving but something always comes up. We want the divorce order vacated. She is willing to agree with joint custody, she has such a good heart. Even thru all this, she wouldn't take away those kids from their father. We want our slates cleaned from DCFS but in all honesty we don't even know what’s going on. I went up there but nobody will tell me anything. We have been quoted the retainer fee of 3500 and we ourselves can make payments after that. We have had enough. Her ex just got married again and we were served with papers again because she refuses to give him check stubs I don't blame her. He still refuses visitation on several occasions she reports it to the Police Department and they say they will send the report to the states attorney.
I know bad things happen all the time. In addition, I know our court system isn't perfect
I feel so horrible because I kept telling her everything would be all right. I was not prepared for this at all. I don’t blame people for their mistakes. However, I've never had something like this happen to me. I’m really not sure if possibly a group of friends in high places. Maybe I tend not to think like that though. Such blatant disregard for the law and due process. ITS A LOSE LOSE SITUATION.
I APOLIGIZE ABOUT ALL MY GRAMATICAL ERRORS IM A WELDER BY TRADE NOT A RECEPTIONIST. THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE TAKIN THE TIME TO READ THIS.
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