I cannot understand why this is happening to us. I really believed that by now, a rational and sensible county worker would step forward and admit that our case was handled poorly and stop this attack. Instead it get's more nightmarish daily as the rules and accusations keep changing.
Many friends have given generously and we are overwhelmed with appreciation. I am launching this new campaign because we will run out of money before we get to the hearing and the caseworker has unlimited resources at her disposal - next week she will file a motion to stop us from using THIS resource to ask for financial help. I am embarrassed that I must make this plea. Please pray that our house will sell quickly and we will then have sufficient resources to continue this fight.
They have accused me a saying disparaging things about the department. I have nothing but respect and appreciation for what CPS is attempting to do and their very good intention to protect children. We have worked with many wonderful workers from CPS whose professional demeanor and tireless efforts have blessed our family.
It is because of my respect for these good workers that it breaks my heart to see one caseworker drag down the good reputations of the many. Somebody needs to step forward and realize the damage that this caseworker is doing to our family. She knows every secret thing about us, she knows we are broke and broken and she is hitting at our most vulnerable weaknesses.
For those who are not familiar with our story, Teresa and I are under a hostile attack from Child Protective Services. One of our sons has severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. Many will say that RAD is a rare problem but NOT to a foster or adoptive family. These poor children have been rejected and neglected and are seriously damaged. Logic tells us that they just need to be loved in a family setting. Unfortunately that is the worst trigger for a child with RAD. These kids do well in an institution, a school or even any other family but in the family where he or she is loved, the child becomes an expert at manipulation.
A RAD child really believes that he will be rejected again and so he begins to punish the loving mom (the nurturing enemy) for all the times that his bio mom did not protect him. Our son was burned, beaten, starved and attacked by dogs before he was five years old. How could we turn away from the opportunity to give him a healthy family?
Unfortunately, he and his bio sister turned on my loving wife. They manipulated, triangulated and even physically hurt our pets, other children and us. We have had deputies, police, detectives, case workers, social workers in our house often. I continued to hold out hope that they would get better with love. They only got worse.
There comes a point where a family with RAD kids runs out of options. There are residential treatment centers where these kids can receive help. The average treatment lasts six to nine months and costs $210 a day. I wish I would have known that three years ago. I quit my job to keep Teresa and kids safe and have been living off my pension. That pension is now gone.
One of our social workers suggested that we contact CPS to see if the county could get behind a plan to get our son into residual treatment. A caseworker came to the house and interviewed each of our children and Teresa and me. I had read that in some cases when parents reach out to CPS that instead of help, CPS charges the parents with neglect and takes their children away. I brought this up to the caseworker who I believed was really trying to get help for our son. She put a paper in front of me that said, "Parents are no longer willing/capable to care for children." I protested, I told her that wasn't right, that those words are too harsh. I told her I was afraid someone will come in and take our kids away.
She looked at me and put her hands on her chest and said, "Bob, this is me, I'm the only on who sees this. No one is going to take your kids away. I know this sounds harsh but this is how we have to word it in order to get the process going." Assuming she meant the process of finding help for our son - I signed the paper.
Signing that paper gave her the ability to lie, deceive and devastate our family with impunity. A few days later she tricked us into coming to the county building for what we thought was a discussion of our son with RAD, instead they separated from our youngest sons and took them away.
With your help, our friends and church family, we were able to get a lawyer, he's a good lawyer with experience in this area. He was able to argue for us to get our youngest back but now we are facing a trial to protect all of our children. Not content to wait for the trial, the caseworker has harassed school teachers, doctors, therapists and manipulated information to make us look like the worst of parents. They have filed a contempt motion and created false narratives in order to nickel and dime us to death and it is working.
We need more money to keep fighting. The majority of CPS case workers we have known over the years are wonderful people. They are doing the Lord's work. There are too many children in the system and too few of these overworked workers to protect them. The tools at their disposal are inefficient. It reminds me of 17th century dentistry. Their instruments are blunt and do more damage than good. Every now and then a caseworker comes along who isn't so much interested in keeping children safe as taking control over a family. I've warned people about these types and I hate myself for falling into the trap of this one.
The system is broken. We need to draw attention to the weaknesses in CPS. It's also very important to educate the public about the great damage that RAD kids can wreak on a family. Our story is not unique, that is the saddest aspect of all of this. This has happened to others and it will keep happening.
If you can find it in your hearts we need money quickly. Three thousand dollars bought 12 hours of work and now we need another five thousand dollars to continue. If you can't give, then please pray for us. If you know any other adoptive families, ask if you can help them - watch their kids for a day or just let them hear an adult voice.
Thank you dear friends,
Bob and Teresa Vigneault
PS, if you are interested here is a story (one of many) that nearly mirrors exactly what we have been through and where we are at.
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