I am not a radical nor an extremist. My lawsuit against the Catholic Church was not born out of contempt but, rather, necessity. I was fired for being who I am.
But this lawsuit is now essential to me. It is a cause I have taken up to fight for justice in the Catholic Church. I often fear, though, that this journey for justice could end because the church can afford to fight harder and longer than I can.
In July 2014, after 17 happy and successful years, I was fired from my job as Music Director at Holy Family when I announced that I was engaged to marry my longtime partner, Will Nifong. During my entire tenure at Holy Family I served as an openly gay man, happily, with little judgment or discrimination by my co-workers, parishioners, and specifically, those for whom I worked. It was only when I chose to marry Will after same-sex marriage was made legal in Illinois was told I must either resign or be terminated.
In March 2016, my attorneys filed an employment discrimination lawsuitagainst the Archdiocese of Chicago and Holy Family Parish in Inverness, Illinois.
What I want most is my job back. My work at Holy Family brought me great joy, fulfillment and satisfaction, embracing both my deep faith and the sexual orientation that I was born into. Before I was fired from Holy Family Catholic Community, I would tell people that I had been working in the church longer than I had done anything else in my life, except be my parents’ child. I have alife-long commitment to my Catholic faith, and the sudden lack of acceptance in the church has been an indescribable source of sorrow for me.
My goal is not, nor has it ever been, to sue the Church. My commitment to my faith is profound. Despite how I have been treated by a few, I want to be a part of the Catholic Church and return to my work as a Music Director.
But I do feel that this injustice needs to be addressed. Without acceptance from the Archdiocese or my parish, I have to pursue resolution through the courts where I must challenge one of the largest and wealthiest institutions on Earth. The Archdiocese and Holy Family declined any opportunity to mediate the matter or give me my job back. Instead, they hired the large law firm of Burke, Warren, MacKay & Serritella, P.C.
Time and money are in their favor. But justice, I believe, will be in mine.
When pressed to say why we entered this legal struggle, I quote the amazing lawyer that has taken up our cause: “We are not fighting against the church – we are fighting for the church we want to have,” a church where all are truly welcome. My attorneys, Kerry Lavelle and Kristina Regal of Lavelle Law, Ltd., a small but committed firm, have stood by Will and me since day one.
They have not pressured us in any way about legal expenses, but we know that their services have already exceeded $125,000. We also know these expenses are likely to grow with each new round of court proceedings we are sure to face. My goal is to raise enough money that Will and I can remain committed to this journey and in the end, create a better church and a better world for those who face discrimination. With the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, we believe that we have a better chance than ever to stop the church from discriminating against gay employees.
The last 18 months have been a long and often dark spiritual journey for me. There are no words to adequately describe how I felt the day I was fired. As soon as word spread, the community erupted in shock, and the pastor organized a town hall meeting attended by almost 900 parishioners. I had no idea what to expect. Of course, you can imagine my surprise when Will and I walked into the church and were greeted with a standing ovation. For almost two hours, friends and colleagues poured out their hearts about the injustice and hurt of this event. Still, nothing changed.
The good news is that in July 2015, Will and I were married in Rome in a magical ceremony, surrounded by family and loved ones. We continue our journey as most married couples. We fight about money, and why only Will gets to empty the recycling. We laugh at ourselves, and we love each other deeply. I could not, in my wildest imagination, begin to think about enduring this battle this without him. He, too, became a regular face at the parish, boosting the tenor section of the choir when needed and pinch-hitting when we needed a Latin text translated or read aloud.
Those were good days. I so appreciated the support of the community through my battle with prostate cancer and the death of my mother, the two only months apart. I even remember how the pastor expressed his thanks to Will for being there for me during these most difficult times. Being turned out of that community has left a gap that can’t be filled in my life.
I am seeking donations from those who agree that the discrimination I faced is not only wrong, but not a Catholic value. We wish to show the church that the ranks of those who believe in an inclusive Catholic Church are not only strong, but willing to provide economic support to the change they seek. Wouldn’t it be interesting to show the Church that their ranks, and their donations, can grow by being open and inclusive in a time where they are experiencing an ongoing decline in their membership? Let’s work together to make it happen.
For more information please visit www.FundedJustice.com or click here
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