Dear Potential Contributors or Donors,
My name is Mallory and I’m here to reach out for help to reunite myself and my 3 year old daughter Gia. My family (sister, brother in law, mom & even my dad) all decided, behind my back, that "I" no longer deserved to parent my own daughter. Although I admit I suffer from emotional problems, I have been receiving the gold-standard therapy known world wide for the best results: DBT. I was in a very emotionally vulnerable time after suffering from depression; and because of my depression, my family threatened to keep my daughter from me permanently unless I signed legal custody papers. I never intended to give custody of my daughter over to anyone, especially my sister. What I did do is ask my sister for ‘help’ babysitting my daughter for a few weeks, while I got started into a new and effective therapy, DBT. In the two weeks my sister ‘babysat’ my daughter, my entire family went to the South Carolina Family Court, without my knowledge, permission or presence, and filed for permanent custody of my daughter. Because I was in Florida at the time and because I was not present in court in South Carolina when they filed for custody, the judge automatically honored their request and my sister became permanent custodial parent of my daughter and continues to this day. South Carolina Family Court laws state that custody is automatically awarded if the parent of the child cannot represent herself.
Following the kidnapping and illegal custody hearing for my daughter, my family then refused to give me any information as to my daughter’s whereabouts and proceeded to keep my daughter from me for a full ten months. Finally, after ten months of tortuous pain and no contact with my daughter, my family members agreed to “let” me see her but only if I agreed to sign legal documents that I not only didn’t understand, but felt I had to sign out of fear of never seeing my daughter again.
What's most important to say to you, my readers, is that my family members are the primary people who raised me and abused me; they contributed primarily to my emotional pain and trauma from early on in my own childhood. The good news here is that I now know, I am no longer a victim! I am a survivor. My family members however, still remain emotionally unhealthy and suffer from what I realize now is distorted thinking, extreme emotional problems and they as a whole, are significantly unwell. I was the family scapegoat, for over 23 years but no more. I've learned through my last year in intensive DBT therapy, that although I am responsible for my own actions as an adult, I am not responsible for theirs. I know now that my family lied to me, coerced me, and took my daughter while pretending they wanted to help me. I admittedly reached out to them for help after many years of little contact, hoping that things would be different, and what I ended up with was more coercion, lies and my daughter ended up kidnapped from me. I didn't know they fully intended on using my lack of legal knowledge against me, to kidnap my daughter from me, under the disguise of 'helping me'. I was admittedly quite naive, and didn’t believe that “money” in court of law could actually win over justice. But I know now the unfortunate truth the hard way: yes, money can go a long way when trying to cover the truth and in a courtroom, money is needed to fight lies, so the truth can be uncovered.
What I'm left with now is a tumultuous problem within the South Carolina family court system: I need to fight for what is rightfully mine, my daughter, and I need to do it with legal representation, yet I do not have the financial ability to hire an attorney who can help me get my daughter back. I attempted recently to go to South Carolina for a court appearance, without legal representation, and was forced (coerced) to sign more legal documents proposed by my sister, that I not only didn't understand, I also had no choice of signing due to the 'bargain' of being permitted at best, visits with my daughter.
I have never put my daughter in harms way or neglected her. I did the best I could to reach out for help and protect her while I was seeking help to resolve my emotional distress. Now? I've learned that I have rights, I didn't have to sign the legal documents and, that with proper legal representation, I can quite easily win my daughters life back, and my own life will once again have purpose: to raise and love my daughter, and teach her what I'm learning and most importantly how to break the cycle of abuse & child maltreatment that my family, continues to demonstrate, even now as I write this.
My sister has full custody of my daughter; my sister too was a victim of our family's abuse. However she has not had therapy nor has she learned the cycle of abuse and coercion that runs deep in our parents' family line. My sister requires my daughter to call her “mom” and her husband “daddy”. I've been reduced to being referred to as “Aunt Mal”.
Prior to my daughter’s kidnapping and illegal custody transfer to my sister, I was enrolled as a college student while teaching Yoga in the evenings. My daughter and I lived in a wonderful, clean home that was very safe. This has been very confusing and traumatizing for my daughter and I both. This is now becoming a cycle of abuse that I can see happening to my own daughter and I am ready to stop this cycle, regain custody of my girl and set her free from this awful chain of events. I am healthy, whole and learning more and more about my own roots of invalidation and trauma and how it's affected my behavior and me.
I'm pleading for help. I must fight wisely within the law and I have no financial resources to fight with due to my family's refusal to offer me any help whatsoever, and they're own use of high paid attorneys to ensure I will never see my daughter again. They have kept her away from me for over a year now and will not even speak on the phone with me. I have never been charged with any drug or criminal charges and I have never put my daughter in harm’s way. I am a loving mother and person. I am successfully employed full time as a lead Yoga instructor, and I also work part time as a care-giver for a 90 year old elderly woman suffering from Dementia. I give all that I can to help others. My work doesn’t, yet, afford me a lot of income; but in my heart it is something I love to do and I love seeing the positive impact that my love has on others’ lives. When my plan to regain rightful custody of my daughter becomes a reality, I will be able to focus my thoughts, energy and time to returning to college and completing my degree, where I’ll earn the ability to generate more income.
My life’s biggest error was in trusting someone, my family, to help me and my child, but they themselves are far more sick than I knew. I tried to seek help from them in order to take time to stabilize my emotions so I could be the best parent to my daughter possible. Now, I am the one who has learned that my family is the ‘one’ who is sick. I have and am on the path to wellness and recovery from what has been a generations of mental illness. I am no longer a part of my family’s illness and patterns, I am healing, I am whole and I will not allow my daughter to be raised as I was.
I was afraid to fight them back due to their emotional bullying but this has gone too far and my daughter deserves her biological and ‘real’ mother back in her life. I have worked diligently and with all of my being to get an understanding of my emotions and behaviors, where they come from and what I need to do to be in control of them and to ensure that I will never fall back into that dark place again.
I can assure you that if you can find it within your heart to donate, I will honor your donation by not only keeping you updated regarding this case, but also more importantly, I will honor my daughter once custody is returned to me, by giving her a healthy and safe life. I have two strong female role models that are both committed to teaching me, coaching me and therefore ensuring that I am never left without genuine help again. I have a strong support system and fully intend to increase my support to include only those people who've mastered skillful and effective life skills; who have genuine, true interests in my best interests and me.
Please help me to stand tall in the South Carolina courtroom, with legal representation, and bring my little girl home and out of a toxic and unhealthy traumatizing situation. I have tried and exhausted every resource I know and all of my alternative choices. I need to break this cycle of abuse and trauma within my family once and for all. I have personal references to confirm my history as a loving and kind mother and person if anyone who reads this letter is interested. Please message me back if you are in need of further information that will help you make a decision about donating.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading my and Gia’s story. And, thank you in advance for any amount of financial contribution or donation you can make to help us be reunited, forever.
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