Single Dad looking for assistance

I have always had an inflated sense of pride and it has taken me a few weeks to come to the conclusion that I need financial help. I have been married for 16 years and divorce has never really entered my mind - until last week. My wife and I are a military couple who, for the past 3 years, have been separated as a result of difficult military assignments. My wife is now the military member (I got out in 2002) and the first year of our involuntary separation was her restricted assignment to Korea. The Army had promised a return to our base of Fort Carson in Colorado, but half way through her tour we informed Fort Carson was not possible. She was then given a choice to teach ROTC in Arizona. A great assignment for her, however; I had a career in Colorado established as a result of the Army previously offering my wife would be assigned to Colorado. If I could have transferred my career to Arizona I would have, but the opportunity never presented itself. We figured since she had about 2 1/2 years until retirement, we could handle the separation and visit regularly driving back and forth. I was left with the responsibility of taking care of our 13-year-old daughter while she served out her assignment in Arizona. Issues began to arise as a result of this separation which led to my wife telling me she was "happier" being alone. This is clearly a side effect of the length of time we have been separated. One of the big issues that is testing us is that we purchased a home last year. I do not want to have to sell, especially since it's in a good school district for my daughter and she is at that age where changing schools and friends could be significant life changing events. My daughter has been through enough being a military child. I understand this is not a special situation and thousands of military kids unfortunately experience this.  As a result of trying to maintain 2 separated living accommodations, I have obtained the majority of debt which makes hiring a divorce attorney extremely difficult without going into bankruptcy. Bankruptcy is not really option as I am a Government employee who must maintain a security clearance and keeping and information of a divorce off my record is crucial. I am asking for your generosity in helping with legal fees and the possible sale of a home. Keeping my home is a priority, but I do realize I may have to go against my will. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you can help with whatever you determine is appropriate.  

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