Friends, comrades, co-religionists:
In the struggle against the archons of the waning aeon, I was captured by enemy forces, accused of slashing tires at a pro-Trump rally. Thanks to your prayers and spells, I have gotten and accepted a deal in which the charges will be dropped, provided I pay a ransom of approximately $760: $260 for a series of court-mandated classes and an estimated $500 in restitution (exact amount TBD). The $260 must be paid within the next week and the restitution must be paid by December 1st. Fundedjustice.com takes a 9.9% cut, hence the extra amount. I am currently broke and struggling to pay even my rent, and would greatly appreciate your financial assistance.
In the struggle against the archons of the waning aeon, I was captured by enemy forces, accused of slashing tires at a pro-Trump rally. Thanks to your prayers and spells, I have gotten and accepted a deal in which the charges will be dropped, provided I pay a ransom of approximately $760: $260 for a series of court-mandated classes and an estimated $500 in restitution (exact amount TBD). The $260 must be paid within the next week and the restitution must be paid by December 1st. Fundedjustice.com takes a 9.9% cut, hence the extra amount. I am currently broke and struggling to pay even my rent, and would greatly appreciate your financial assistance.
Please consider tithing and supporting me in this matter. Any extra funds raised will go towards gas costs and to purchase thanksgiving offerings for the spirits. Prayers are always welcome and appreciated as well.
Yours, in service,
Michael
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