Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Hope for my Children

I am a proud mother of three beautiful babies 3, 5, & 8 years old. I never realized the true joy in life until becoming a mother. They are defiantly the sun shine in my life!!
Over a year ago my husband and I divorced.  He was mentally and physically abusive for over 10 years and I was able to manage to hide it from most people during that time.  I feared for the safety of my children and assumed I would have to stay in the marriage until they all graduated to keep them safe from being alone with him.  After realizing that I could hid the abuse from others outside of the home but not my children it was time for me to leave the marriage.  I feared for my life and the possibility of my children being left without a mother.
I have attended support groups over the last year and am currently healing from the damage caused by abuse. Now that I am out of the marriage I am seeing my children struggle with the same type of mental abuse that was used on me to fear him and to be under his control.  It is breaking my heart to see my 8 year old son cry because he loves his dad but doesn’t understand why he is the way he is.  I have had my 5 year old daughter plead with me not to take her to dad’s promising me a candy bar if she can only stay home and not go there.  My two year old has had outbursts of banging his head against a wall and throwing things across a room, things I have never seen him do before.  While in their father’s care my children have been left unattended while dad chooses to drink in the garage, and my 8 year old has been asked to help make adults alcoholic beverages as well as witnessed many other inappropriate things.  
Our custody battle has been very difficult and because I did not report things during our marriage it did not hold up in court as I hoped, although they did not doubt that there was abuse I could not prove the extent of the abuse. We were able to get a Guardian of Litem involved in our case she reported that dad is mentally abusing the children and she encouraged him to get help.  He started seeing a physiatrist and because he was receiving help she felt he was showing progress and should continue to have shared custody of the children even after they determined that he has narcissistic personality traits.  The guardian was unable to prove that my children were being left unattended and I was told that children sometimes don’t always tell the truth.  It was very frustrating to hear this when I have witnessed the change in my children’s personalities and have been the one whom sits with them in the evening hours and mornings while they cry. Even after fighting my ex to get the children into counseling they were too scared to tell the truth in fear dad would find out. I later found out that my ex had chosen to see the same physiatrist as my children during the same time they were attending. My ex husband managed to manipulate people into believing that he was getting help and was changing his ways, but since our court has ended he is back to his same ways and is no longer receiving help. My children are also back to suffering the price of mental abuse from their father and also grandmother.  
I work a full time job and am currently looking for a second job to make enough money to pay for an attorney so that I can go back to court.  Please help me to fight for my children to stop the abuse.
For more information please click here or visit www.fundedjustice.com

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