Hello, my name is Ryley Demers. I am 21 and have never had a record, love animals to death, and just want to do everything well so most people like me, so maybe I can tolerate myself and enjoy and actually live life for once.
I am being charged with animal cruelty by a responding officer, which has info recorded that are outright lies. I was going to commit suicide May 28th, and in between 9 am and 11 am I consumed 75-325 mg aspirin. Sometime between 2(or 2:30 pm)- 3 pm, my very nerve damaged cat wouldn't stay out from underneath my feet. I was pacing, and I had to move him every 10-30 seconds for an hour. The last time I removed him I did it differently because I had stepped on him and thought I hurt him. Because I was losing brain and bodily functions, I tried tossing him to my phone couch(was a routine because it wouldn't hurt him but would disturb him enough to be like hey don't do that. He would always come running back to me and sit on my lap and want my love) but biffed it really bad and tripped on stuff. I fell face first as I was mid arm raising. His name was Twitch... 1/4-1/3 of his upper back made contact with the wall(rest was foam) and he fell 1-1.5 feet to the couch. Even though it was 3-4 times harder than I would toss him, a normal cat wouldn't have been harmed. He seemed fine, walked up, I pet him for a minute or two and he just walked off. A few hours later around 4 or 5, I went to pet him but he wouldn't move. I freaked out and tried testing limb movement gently, and it got worse. I started bawling because I wanted to die, but loved my cat more than me. I called 911 and explained things, and cops showed up 10 mins later with ambulance 5 after. I was 1.5-2,5 hours away from death when I made it there. I was life flighted to CDA, and spent 2.5 days in the ICU. A week or two after I was released, 2 officers knocked on my door and gave me my charge. I've had 3 postponements of my pretrial, turns out 3rd(of 4) pretrial date actually happened 2 months ago( was given wrong time). I had my 4th today, and I know why I'm being charged now. The officer stated I had admitted to being angry at Twitch for escaping his cage and peeing on the floor. He also said I said I 'threw his cat to the couch and he hit the wall with his back' in his report, and that his cage was soaked with dried pee of (paraphrasing so meaning is as close as possible(constant use of me locking him in there for long periods of time)). I was recorded during the 911 call, and should have been at my house because 4-7 cops and 'safety concern'. I told the truth beginning at the 911 call, saying I tripped and it was an accident. I didn't say why I tossed him due to decline of functions and interrogation. I had used his cage once for about 2 minutes so I could clean my room months before, and it was up and put away since.
I live in Idaho, so my attorney is very reluctant to prove my innocence. I finally talked to her today. By calling them and saving my cat, I obtained $43,000+ in debt because of no insurance. I lost my job which I still can't even get back yet. I haven't worked in 4 months(got ssc copy 2ish weeks ago finally). I was evicted, and might be again soon. Why would I ever want to hurt my cat? Who would accept those results for a cat if they were angry at it? He was my first animal, and stopped my from trying months before. Even for a cat, he was my life.
I have had no income at all for 4 months, and need help to try and find an attorney that is within 150 miles that will actually fight for me. I have been severely depressed since I was 15, so 6 years now. This is going to fuck me up forever, and I've been barely hanging on but have come closer to being alive again than ever until I realized what I was up against. I need help so badly. This has been holding me back. and changing things in every way... All I had going for me before really was a clean record. I critique myself so having a stain won't ever go away I think...
I know this seems either pathetic, weak, stupid or not worth it. I'm all of the above, but I don't know what do to now, which is why I'm asking for help. I've been fighting myself for a really long time, and I need to find that difference. Asking random people is the only thing I can do now, so even if you don't contribute, please share this so maybe someone else will. Everything, no matter the amount, will make every difference. This can change everything.
UPDATE: looks like my eviction is happening again, got a job finally but it won't really change anything... My kittens can't be homeless with me, and they're why I have to succeed :/
If you donate, I will remember you forever. I don't have anyone in my life at this point that can help me, so even if it fails it'll be a little but better. Thank you for your time and patience with reading my plea. I hope you all have a very nice day :)
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